Our Diverted Journey
My wife Cherilyn and I are no different from anyone else, we have plans and dreams for the future. What we didn't plan for was the news we got a few weeks ago. "Yes, it's breast cancer". Words that no one wants to hear about themselves or a loved one. In fact, I wouldn't want to hear it about anyone!
So yes, our short term plans were going to have to change a little whilst Cherilyn fights this pain in the arse. But it is just a diversion, it is just a speed bump that we will need to slow down a little bit for. People react in different ways to things and we are not people that are going to fall into a depression and let this little bugger rule our life. We are getting on with life as normal (with a few doctors visits in the mix) we need to be positive about this and see it for what it is. It's a diversion! We will still get where we want to go, we will still try to make our dreams reality, we are just going a different route.
Cherilyn has a type of cancer that is at a higher percentage of returning but there were options available to her. Lumpectomy, where they take the lump out and fill in the gap (I am very non technical about it obviously. lol) or they could remove the whole breast and build a new one and try to match it up, or they could remove both and give her shiny new ones at the end. I am being a little flippant about this but believe me we did talk about it and discussed it with the doctors to come to the final decision. Because of the chances of the cancer returning later in life Cherilyn decided that she would go for the double mastectomy. In the end it was Cherilyn's choice to do this. I gave my honest opinion and asked all the questions I could think of to make sure she was considering all aspects, but most importantly I was there for her no matter what she decided. If a double mastectomy is good enough for Angelina Jolie then it's good enough for Cherilyn.
Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow (Oct 23rd) which is why I will be out for a couple of days. Then a few months of chemo and then new boobs. Yes, I know I am being very flippant about it again and I promise that I am fully aware of how tough the months ahead are going to be for Cherilyn. But do we have to dwell on it all of the time? No! Sometimes it helps to joke about it, it doesn't make it any less real but it helps me put it in it's place. Cancer is a bully and it is there to ruin your life, well we are standing up to this bully and putting it in it's place.
It's very easy for me to do this as I went through the same thing with my mum who fought many different types of cancer for about 16 years and in the end it wasn't the cancer that beat her. Having been surrounded by cancer for so many years I have learned how it can impact everyone's life around it. I am very much like my mum when dealing with this, I will look for any silver lining possible (there is always something, no matter how thin) I know when to be serious about it and when to be flippant about it and I know that moping will not help anything or anyone. Cherilyn will beat this!!
Here is a silver lining to Cherilyn's cancer. It can be cured!! The reason why is that it was caught early. CAUGHT EARLY! Time is everything with cancer and the way it was caught early was self discovery. There are many types of cancer in this world that can not be detected by yourself, but breast cancer can be. Don't be afraid of what you might find by checking, be afraid of what you don't find by not checking. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, but cancer doesn't work on a calendar so check all the time. Make it part of your routine in life and if you are unsure about anything, get it checked. It could be nothing but at least you will know.
If I could give any advice on this, it would be one thing. COMMUNICATION!! Don't be afraid to talk about it with your other half, family, friends and more importantly the doctors. Don't shy away from it as that is when it can become scary, you don't have to talk about it ALL the time but don't ignore it. If you have any questions, ask the right person. The right person is NOT Google! The right person is the doctor who will give you all the details you need. I think I asked as many questions in the doctors appointments as Cherilyn did. COMMUNICATION and P.M.A. (Positive Mental Attitude)
Cherilyn is doing a blog of her entire journey, if you would like to follow her journey you can see it here.
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